Embrace the Mess
Life can be unpredictable at times when suddenly unexpected traumatic losses of immediate family members died, and what’s left one surviving lineage member. The lonely road to grief journey begins. After the whole burial process, what is the next step in life? Shall you continue suffering from depression, drink yourself into a stupor, be antisocial, or commit suicide? Those were the questions that were on my mind about life situations. All I can say I was a hot mess throughout these unforeseen events.
Most of the time I would sleep thru out the day. Early am rising pondering about life circumstances. During those moments, I looked around the house for a book to read. I figure that reading can inspire me a bit and see what others are going thru with their life circumstances. I found a book called Unlocking the Mysterious of Birth & Death by Daisaku Ikeda. It was a spiritual perspective on oneself and life. The author explains how to change your karma to purposeful goals and obstacles into life intensify experiences. After reading the book, I began to look at the internet and see if there are any bereavement groups. I joined two groups at the same time. Both groups were a good way to start my grief journey and interact with others who may be going thru agony. Allowing myself to share my story, was an opportunity to develop life long friendships. I met with four people and it downside to one friend to have an occasional conversation about our story. Next step was going on a retreat to find my purpose in life. Met several people sharing the story in hopes of establishing life-long friendships. Again it downside to a few. However, we do meet up monthly for updates on our progress. These are the trials and tribulations to go thru and establish my values and boundaries. Sometimes sharing my story is not for everybody and I get it. However, my emotions allow me to make these mistakes to become more aware of myself.
Today, I partake on several groups that are ongoing to personal growth. Jackie is a great friend, sister and my therapist that has helped me thru out this year. She is persistent on doing better and setting me up on dates. Having a cheerleader on my tribe who is confident in her skin is one of the greatest gifts I will cherish. A brave woman who has overcome some challenges in her life.
Acknowledging the mess is experiencing and facing obstacles that will lead better life enhancements. Just show up and be authentic with a messy life. It’s all about embracing your quirkiness as it allows you to be human. What sort chaos or clutter of life have you encountered in the past or the present? Please share your thoughts and comment about my story. I look forward to reading your comments.