How to Forgive Without Forgetting?
The old saying that you should “forgive and forget” is probably one of the most damaging statements that have been made in terms of how it has affected a person’s ability to forgive. The main reason is that dismissing the mind is not part of forgiving. Forgiving is done despite the wrong done, the results from it, and the memory that remains. So, how can you forgive without forgetting?
Here are some helpful tips:
Let Go of The Past and Focus on The Future
To forgive, one of the things you must do is let go of the past and focus on the future. You do that by learning what you can from each thing but not judging the choices made back then. You can only focus on how the situation now impacts the decisions you will make in the future.
Acknowledge It Happened
Don’t try to hide the painful thing that happened. One thing about forgiveness is that the only way to do it is to be open that something happened and someone has mistreated you. It doesn’t mean you’re a victim. It doesn’t mean you’re stupid. In fact, being wrong has absolutely nothing to do with you but with the person who did it to you. Saying that it happened is no judgment on you at all, only the perpetrator.
Let Go of Expectations You Have of Other People or The Universe
While you want to have big goals in life, it’s best not to place expectations on other people or even the universe because these are things you have no control over. Due to how great our minds are, it’s easy to have too high expectations in any given case. You can only control your behavior, and that’s it. Tony Robbins quote I appreciate is “Trade your expectations for appreciation.” This quote took a moment, and I realized that I am responsible for my happiness. If the other person is not going to apologize, then I forgive myself—this pain no longer requires my attention to hold on to resentments.
Live a Life of Intention
To live an intentional life means that you have accepted that you are the manager of your own life. You realize that you cannot control what other people do, and knowing this, you design your life with yourself in control of it. It would be best to determine where you want to go and put yourself on the path to get there by setting goals and objectives and implementing your plans to realize them.
When you accept that forgiveness is not something you are doing for the person who has wronged you, but something you have to do for yourself to move past it and live a good life, it gets a lot easier to do it. It’s important to practice forgiveness of others and yourself every day because LIFE IS SHORT. While you don’t forget the experiences you have, and who would want to, you earned those lessons. You can move forward happily by practicing forgiveness anyway.
“We recall our terrible past so that we can deal with it, to forgive where forgiveness is necessary, without forgetting, to ensure that never again will such inhumanity tear us apart, and to move ourselves to eradicate a legacy that lurks dangerously as a threat to our democracy.” Nelson Mandela
Question for You:
Can you really forgive if you can’t forget? Leave me a comment. I love to hear your thoughts on forgiveness but not forgetting.
Until next week:
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